What is Life?
by 999patientia
Summary: Hidan wants to die...that's all he wants.


A/N- Okay...here's something completely new...well, at least to me.

There are a few changes: Hidan is not in the Akatsuki yet and...that's probably it.

Not a HidanxOC. That would be criminal in this story...even for a missing-nin.

Disclaimer- I don't own anything. Except the song; that's mine.

* * *

_"One for my mother...one for my brother...one for my family--"_

_Pause._

_"I can't seem to remember..."_

* * *

It was such a gory sight. Blood splattered on the walls with corpses rotting in the hallways. What was once a grand palace, was now a graveyard...The lights were all gone.

In the darkness,a small girl dressed in a raggy cloak gingerly stepped over the bodies as quickly and quietly as she could. She hummed in a small voice as she looked from side to side to find her companion.

She noticed a trail of footsteps leading to the only room with light and so she followed them.

She sneaked up to the shoji door and slid it open a little bit, but just enough for her to see.

In the room, there he was in all his blood soaked glory. A young man with grey hair seemed fairly pleased with himself as he looked around the room. Soldiers impaled on spears, consorts missing limbs, and of course, the lord, was now missing a head. An odd thing about this scene was the fact that he himself was also impaled by a pike.

The man seemed to have finished what he was doing and ripped the weapon out of his chest. He turned to the eye peering at him from the door and gestured for the girl to come in.

She gladly obliged and skipped inside. She skipped until she found a three bladed scythe. Picking it up ever so carefully, she skipped back to the man and handed it to him.

The man took ahold of it and patted the girl on the head.

Smiling, she asked, "Ne...Hi-chan...are you done now?"

"Aa," he replied. "Let's go eat."

"Yay!"

* * *

_"One for my father...one for my sister...one for my friends--"_

_Pause._

_"...did I have any?" _

* * *

He was alone and would always be alone. He hated his life...his miserable life of being a monster.

He is a monster and monsters are only in company of other monsters.

That's when he first met her.

In the dark forest, surrounded by corpses of the once-living. He was under the moonlight and looked pleased with himself.

There was movement from the corner of his eyes. He turned to see a child struggling under a body.

He smirked cruelly as he walked towards her. "What do you know...? There's a survivor..."

The child pushed the larger body of of her small one. Once she did, she stopped to look at it. A face beyond recognition and body completely mangled and yet, she could hear beating.

Curious, she placed her hand on the body's chest and dug in.

Deeper and deeper...until the flesh tore. She peered inside to see a heart beating, ever so slowly. With careful fingers, she dove in to grab the beating organ.

Pulling it out, she stared with fascination.

It pulsed...once...twice...nothing.

The man stopped walking once she pulled out the heart. He could only stare in wonder yet, he showed no expression on his face.

The girl looked around until her eyes landed on the man. Without taking her eyes off, she stood up and walked towards him.

She realized she was only up to his knees. She looked up to his face and raised the heart for him to see.

"It won't beat anymore," she said, softly. "Why?"

The man didn't answer. He wasn't sure how to act or answer. He wondered if she knew what even happened.

She turned back to the body. "Was that a woman?" she asked.

This time, he answered. "Aa..."

"Hmmm...was that my mother?" She asked herself. "Did I kill my mother?" She said, looking down at the heart. She lifted it up to her face and kissed it. "I love you, mother. I'm sorry."

The man asked a question himself. "Do you have a name?"

The girl turned back to the man. "A name..." she repeated. She turned around again and faced the bodies. "They had names..."

The man, not upset with his lack of answer, asked, "Do you know anything?"

The girl looked up to his eyes. "Do you have a name?" she asked, repeating his previous question.

He nodded.

"What is it?"

"Hidan."

The girl repeated his name, again and again. "Hidan..." she said, quietly at first. "Hidan, Hidan, Hidan..." She looked at Hidan with new light in her eyes. "I want a name too! Give me one!" She said with a childish tone.

Hidan stared at her as he slowly realized something. He started to chuckle. Here is something with a life much worse than his...a child with a memory loss disease.

He crouched down to meet her eyes and gave her a smile.

"Alright...I'll give you a name, but in payment for that, you have to stay by my side all the time, understand?" _When I begin to love you, I'll kill you...When you forget me, I'll kill you..._ He made a gamble for himself.

The girl had confusion in her eyes, still, she agreed to the terms. "Okay."

"Good...your name will be..."

* * *

_"One for me and one for--"_

_Pause._

_"...who are you?"_

* * *

She really did stay by his side. She followed him everywhere. There was barely a moment when she wasn't with him.

She watched as he sacrificed hunter-nins. She learned all she can. She watched him slaughter everything in sight. She would get injured but she didn't mind-she knew she would get hurt.

He taught her about his God and why he was important. He told her about his life and how he could never die.

However, no matter how much she absorbed she would forget it all, slowly but eventually.

Still, as long as she doesn't forget him...

Once she cut herself on his scythe when she carried it back to him. She didn't cry, instead she asked him, "Why do I bleed?"

"Too much stress," he answered.

* * *

_"One for--"_

_Pause._

_"...what am I doing?" _

* * *

"Hidan..."

She grabbed his bare shoulders and slightly shook him. She tugged on the blankets to make him face her.

"...what do you want?" It was the dead of night and he just wanted to sleep.

He faced his back to her and she frowned. She climbed over him to meet his half-closed eyes. She placed her hands on his face.

"Why do I keep forgetting things?"

Hidan was awake now but he didn't answer.

He knew it too well.

Living for a long time did have its perks. He figured out what was wrong with her...

A genetic memory loss disease...really rare. One in a million is supposed to have it. Because of complications, one's life is severely reduced. Surprisingly, there was nothing wrong with her physical, except for the speed of her walking, but mentally...she was losing her mind...literally.

"Hidan?"

That snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Nothing will happen."

"...will I forget you?" she asked, solemnly.

Hidan's eyes hardened. He took one of her hands and placed it on his mouth. "If you forget me, I will kill you," he repeated his vow, once more.

Her expression didn't change. "Will you really?"

There was no answer.

"...can you kill me? I want you to kill me when I forget." She was five years old and yet, she knew what was happening to her. "I...can't imagine living without you...so please...kill me when I forget or I'm sure I'll kill myself, but I want you to kill me..."

Hidan took her other hand and looked her in the eyes. "...you won't be able to say your last words."

* * *

_"What are you singing?"_

_"Hmmm? Ummm...I don't know! I think it's a song for the dead...maybe..."_

* * *

It turned out he wasn't the one who killed her.

Or maybe he did.

She was slowly killing herself. She was forcing her body to remember everything but it wouldn't work.

She began to forget simple things like walking properly. Her movements became slower and stiffer. Once in awhile she would have a spasm. Screaming and tearing at the ground in constant pain.

He would only watch.

One time, while she carried his scythe back to him, she had a look of confusion in her eyes, as if asking, why am I doing this. One time, she asked who Jashin-sama was.

It was only a matter of time before she would say the question that would end her life.

Hidan continued to walk in the forest with her following, until she stopped.

She was crying tears of blood.

Hidan turned around and watched her touch her face.

She looked at her bloodied hands and asked, "Why am I crying?" She looked at Hidan.

He took his scythe off his back.

"...mister," she said, walking towards him. Her eyes were the same as he first saw her-- nothingness... "Who--"

She never finished her sentence. Hidan realized she died before his scythe ever touched her. The child he knew was dead once she cried.

Hidan picked up her small body. Her face stained with her bloodied tears. Her face never changed from the first moment and he was glad she stayed the same until the end.

He wondered if he loved her. He knew she loved him, but did he?

He gave her a name, and a reason to live and die, and she gave her everything she had.

He wondered if Jashin-sama would be angry if he didn't sacrifice her.

Looking at her cold skin, Hidan's vision blurred. He blinked the tears back. He will not cry-not now, not ever.

He wanted to die.

What was the point of life, if he only lived on forever? Could that even be called a life?

He decided he would make a burial for her.

He kissed her forehead and repeated the words that she would always sing...

* * *

_"One for my mother, one for my brother, one for my family..._

_One for my father, one for my sister, one for my friends..._

_One for me and one for my beloved..."_

_Pause._

_"That's you, of course."_

* * *

**...the end.**

* * *

A/N- Just a thought...since Hidan lived for a long, long time and probably seen things that normal people need multiple lifetimes to see...don't you think that he could be tired of life?


End file.
